Oh yes, the nightmare has begun when I received my results this Tuesday and sad to say, I didn't do my best. *insert a million sad smilies* Goodness, I'm so demoralized I can literally jump down a building and die.... NOT. Hahaha, I'm not that pessimistic. Actually, I'm pretty much feeling the opposite. I've been flooding myself with inspirational quotes and encouragement in my mind just to make myself at ease and stop feeling like a damn failure. It works sometimes... but not most of the time because hell, I still feel like jumping off a building.
However! Looking at the bright side, I'm pretty stable in my studies, just not the best. I'm glad to say I can still be promoted and there is a slight chance I may be able to get a few As in the future, but for now, its not what it may seem. We're placed with such high expectations that we don't appreciate things such that we are lucky enough to be in that particular position. Its good to aim high, but sometimes its good to be happy with what you actually have no matter how bad it is.
I don't know why but I try to keep a optimistic view on everything as much as I despise a couple of things in life (well, maybe more than a couple) but its better than moping around and complaining like the world is ending (which may actually happen next year) (I'm still having an positive perspective on that too). I know I complain quite a number of times but its human nature (that's my only excuse for now) and I feel that it helps to release some anger, hatred or whatever negative outlook there is.
Still, its better to be able to try and cheer yourself up no matter how stupid or lame it may sound but I don't know, because it works for me at times. I try to tell myself that there are better opportunities out there and I'm too young to be worried about all these. There's a WHOLE life out of me there and crying over a spilt milk does not help at all. I might as well pick myself up, clean up my damn mess and get on going because time is not going to wait for me.
Even though I may have some time encouraging myself, its not that bad to actually be sad and recollect my thoughts and mistakes, go through them and feel like an extreme failure, but it helps. It helps to knock some sense into me. Real bad.
Overall, my results may suck like rotten eggs, but I think what matters for now is that I learn from all these wrong, turn over and feel more positive as ever for next year, since its going to be a hell of a ride.
For now, relax for a little bit and worry later. I feel extremely good tonight because One Direction's 'Gotta Be You' is nice (hearing Liam's voice is just woah....), Justin Bieber's Mistletoe is really sweet and tomorrow is USS day bitches! Woo hooooooooooo!
Anyway, Monday was a blast with Mailee as well because we watched Real Steel and its an INCREDIBLE movie, I swear. Both of us were super animated during the movie and I can't even speak the right words to describe how good is this movie! I'm too lazy to describe the whole movie but to sum it all up: ATOM is the bomb, Max (Dakota Goya) is the most adorable thing ever, Charlie (Hugh Jackman) is the buffest guy ever and the rest was just some cool and bad-ass things that I don't mind watching again. *sigh of contentment* One of the best movies I've seen so far ;) You have to watch it!
Time to start painting my nails and read a book because life is good :)
P/S: Please don't rain tomorrow!
PP/S: I hope you'd really understand.
XO.
Ryn.
